ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom Episode 33: How Do We Make Sense of What Others Do to Us and What We Do to Others When Our Actions Seem Harmful or Helpful?

In 1958, psychologist Fritz Heider originated “attribution theory” in psychology. This theory tried to answer the question: How do people make sense of what happens to them? How do they hold themselves and others responsible or not responsible without knowing the actual causes or evidence for behavior? A related theory developed by psychologist Julian Rotter in 1954 is called “Locus of Control” and looks at how we reason about our own and other’s motivations. In this podcast, we will discuss the ways we all tend to credit or blame or shame ourselves and others when we judge actions or behaviors as intentional. Do we attribute harmful actions to character or personality traits as “He is such a narcissist and that’s why he never asks about my ideas!” or to circumstances as in “No wonder she told a lie, she could not possibly deal with her financial situation!” The way we explain our own and others’ intentions play a major role in our hostilities, judgments, and life satisfaction. As we move through this conversation, we also talk about the Zen story of the Empty Rowboat which looks at attribution, control, and blame in a fresh way.